By Suzy Adra, Level 1 & 2 Graduate
In the training, Michael Brian Baker asked me if I would be okay getting on the massage table to demonstrate a “one on one” session as the rest of the participants watched. I have done breathwork sessions where I become one with the breath, with the music, or blended into nothingness where the breath just takes over, and breathes me. I have also had sessions where I would literally have to get up and go vomit my guts out.
This time with Michaelwas different then anything I had experienced before.
Michael guided me to begin the breath as usual. As I lay there, inhale inhale exhale, inhale inhale exhale…the familiar dry mouth began, my mind calmed down, and my body started the familiar tingle. I felt Michael working energetically. I could not see him because my eyes were closed but I could feel the energies moving in and around me.
Suddenly, this strange rumbling began from deep within my core… “Can this be for real?” I thought to myself…and then… I began to laugh uncontrollably!
“It’s all a cosmic joke”, kept flashing in my mind’s eye, accompanied by the urge to share it, so I said it outloud.
“It’s all a Cosmic joke!”
More laughter followed, and the more I laughed, the funnier it got, and I just could not get myself to stop laughing.
I had the best laugh of my life!
As I laughed, I realized the extreme sadness that the laughter carried and I recognized that it was not foreign to me. I have always used laughter to distract myself from every misery. Sarcasm has always been one of my favorite things.
There she was, the wounded warrior laying with all the years of waging war with herself, and had she finally made it to this table. After a lifetime had passed, she finally said the battle had to end, laughing her guts out at the insanity of it all in front of twelve complete strangers.
I concluded, I will not accept this “self” abuse anymore.
I will not accept it on behalf of all the women who came before me and who will come after me.
I am not sure how long I was laughing, but it seemed that the entire creation was laughing with me.
I began to feel so much gratitude for the intensity of this release, gratitude for Michael for guiding so gently and holding space, for these strangers who were silently sitting and witnessing this healing with all the patience of a caring, nurturing of the attentive mother.
It is true that we all have the power to heal ourselves. Whenever we are ready, whenever it is ok to let go. When we have forgiven ourselves and integrated the reasons for our suffering. Having someone guide us and bear witness is necessary for this healing to occur and it is a privilege both ways.
I have travelled high and low, learned so many modalities, seeking, searching for resolution. I used the breath for so long and even used it in a recent retreat I facilitated, and yet it is beyond me why it took so long to recognize this breath as the gold.
Have you ever wondered why yoga is so powerful? Have you ever wondered why working out and sports are so powerful? Have you ever wondered why when you dance it feels so amazing?
The secret is the breath.
The breath is our direct connection to source.
The breath never lies, it is the healer, it is truth. It is holy.
Inhale… & Exhale Holy Laughter
To attend a Teacher Training with Michael Brian Baker’s The Breath Center, please go to: thebreathcenter.com/gatherings/trainings
This blog has been shortened and edited for content. To see Suzy’s full blog post, please visit her website here.
Suzy Adra is a student and practitioner of many disciplines and tools: archaeology, archives, fine art, ayurveda, yoga, meditation, breath work, metaphysics, creativity, consciousness, philosophy, energy healing, and trauma release techniques. Her current focus is on helping individuals access their creative self through several modalities. She believes, that for this to happen, there is a required need to release previously held beliefs about oneself, and the world. Suzy has studied with Michael Brian Baker’s The Breath Center starting in June 2016, and is a Level 1 & Level 2 Graduate. She is available for sessions at email@example.com .